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Men and Women Jokes

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The Wife's Birthday
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the ...
Rating: 4.4 / 10
What Women Want in a Man
What women want in a man at age 22: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic ...
Rating: 5.1 / 10
Dearly Departed
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why ...
Rating: 5.8 / 10
What Men Know
Here are the top ten things that men know about women! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
Rating: 5 / 10
The Wedding Anniversary
Top ten things not to say on your anniversary! 10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking. 9. Today is our what? 8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together? 7. I thought we only ...
Rating: 3.8 / 10
The Gorgeous Woman
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its ...
Rating: 4.9 / 10
Perfume
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a ...
Rating: 5.3 / 10
The Surgery
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. ...
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Crying Husband
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs. She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, ...
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Divorce Joke
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I ...
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Computers: Male or Female?
An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the ...
Rating: 7 / 10
What Women Want
What Women Want in a Man When they first start dating 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful ...
Rating: 5.5 / 10
Dream Man
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly ...
Rating: 5.8 / 10
Men Are Like...
Men are like placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table. Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like bike helmets. They are handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look ...
Rating: 5.4 / 10
It's a Man's World
How many men does it take to open a beer? - None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman without a washing machine will probably never be able to support ...
Rating: 6.6 / 10
The Wife
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, ...
Rating: 7.1 / 10

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