Work Jokes

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. However, their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the ...

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" ...

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence," said the ...

So you want a day off? Let's take a look at what you are asking for! There are 365 days this year. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours ...

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job, and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the ...

There are four engineers traveling in a car. One is a mechanical engineer, one a chemical engineer, one an electrical engineer and the other one an engineer from Microsoft. The car breaks down. "Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll ...

An engineer dies and goes to heaven. However, when St. Peter meets him at the gate he says, "Wait a second! You're in the wrong place! Beat it!" So, the engineers goes down to Hell, and gets settled in. He soon becomes dissatisfied with conditions ...

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime ...

An elderly gentleman, quite well to do, realized that his life was turning down the final stretch, so he summoned the three friends that he trusted the most for some advice. One was a doctor, one a priest, and the other an attorney. "I've been ...

A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is ...

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would ...

A man walks into a butchers shop asks the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, "Yes". The man says, "I bet you fifty dollars that you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks up there." The butcher looks up at ...

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open one of these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can ...

A tourist in San Francisco walks into an antique shop in Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the ...

A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. ...

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And ...