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All Jokes

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Mom's Driving
One day, two guys were driving to a local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red. The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the ...
Rating: 4.9 / 10
Beethoven
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig ...
Rating: 5.2 / 10
Snow Day
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said. "You must park ...
Rating: 4.7 / 10
The Art Collector
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take, as he notices that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable. He walks casually into ...
Rating: 5.9 / 10
Two Scotsmen
Two Scotsmen had been pals since childhood and had shared everything over the years. One day, Angus won a rare bottle of Scotch in a door prize. Immediately, Jock says "Open it up and we'll have a dram." "Naw, ah'm goin' tae save it for a ...
Rating: 5.3 / 10
Zoo Performer
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime ...
Rating: 6.9 / 10
Last Wishes
An elderly gentleman, quite well to do, realized that his life was turning down the final stretch, so he summoned the three friends that he trusted the most for some advice. One was a doctor, one a priest, and the other an attorney. "I've been ...
Rating: 5.9 / 10
Kiss and Slap
A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is ...
Rating: 7.2 / 10
Top 30 euphemisms for stupidity
Here are the top 30 euphemisms for "stupidity": 1. A few clowns short of a circus. 2. A few fries short of a happy meal. 3. A few beers short of a six pack. 4. A few peas short of a casserole. 5. The wheel's spinning, but ...
Rating: 5 / 10
The Artist
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would ...
Rating: 6.1 / 10
The Butcher
A man walks into a butchers shop asks the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, "Yes". The man says, "I bet you fifty dollars that you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks up there." The butcher looks up at ...
Rating: 4.6 / 10
The Surgery
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. ...
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Crying Husband
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs. She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, ...
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Blondes on an Island
There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it. One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out. "I will grant you each a wish," he said. "Why ...
Rating: 3.9 / 10
Blonde Alligator
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated, the blonde ...
Rating: 6.7 / 10
51 Days
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. ...
Rating: 6.5 / 10

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